Smartphones, tablets, and video consoles can be addictive. They also interfere with
sleep. They draw kids into an alternate universe, often distracting them from
more productive—and healthier—real-world activities. And they
are linked to
anxiety and depression, learning disabilities, and obesity.
That’s according to a growing body of research emphasizing the physical
and psychological dangers of heavy screen use.
“Nobody should spend eight or nine hours doing anything except sleeping
and working,” said
Dr. Sina Safahieh, medical director of ASPIRE, the teen mental health program run by Hoag Hospital in Orange County,
California.
Yet for many teenagers, mine included, mobile phones and social media are
also indispensable tools for planning their social lives, keeping up with
schoolwork, and staying in touch with out-of-town friends and relatives.
I recently talked to Samantha Dunn, a former journalism colleague, who
spoke glowingly about her 10-year-old son’s use of digital technology
in the pursuit of knowledge. Her son, Ben, became curious about the American
Revolution and the British Empire after listening to the soundtrack to
the musical “Hamilton,” and he used his mother’s smartphone
to research them intensively.
Ben’s fascination with the Marquis de Lafayette, the French nobleman
and major general who helped win the U.S. Revolutionary War, motivated
him to learn French. So, he downloaded the language-learning app Duolingo
and got busy.
“I genuinely think he has learned a love of languages,” Dunn said.
But she said she and her husband, Jimmy Camp, are embroiled in an ongoing
battle with Ben because they won’t let him get Fortnite, a popular
video game that involves a lot of killing, but also serves as an online
venue for friends to talk about what’s going on in their lives.
“We said ‘no,’ and it was like, oh my god, we had ended
his life,” Dunn said.
How can parents optimize the constructive uses of screen-based technology
while minimizing its pernicious effects?
The key is helping kids use technology as a tool, not a toy, “where
there’s some purpose other than the medication of boredom,”
according to Jim Taylor, a psychologist and author of the book “Raising
Generation Tech: Preparing Your Children for a Media-Fueled World.”
Taylor, along with many other medical and mental health professionals,
advises parents to set limits and stick to them. They should restrict
the amount of time their kids spend on devices, create tech-free zones—no
cellphones in their bedrooms, for example—and tech-free times, such
as at the dinner table, in restaurants, and on family outings.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends avoiding almost all digital
media use for kids under 2 and limiting it to one hour of “high-quality
programming” for children between the ages 2 and 5, with a parent involved.
Such programming can improve young children’s learning, literacy,
and social skills, the academy states.
The academy also recommends no screen time within an hour of bedtime, and
advises parents to establish a personalized family plan that sets age-appropriate
guidelines for the type of digital media allowed and the amount of time
kids can spend on it.
Rachael Wells, a 42-year-old mother of four in Folsom, California, said
she and her husband, Carter, worry about cellphone addiction with their
12- and 14-year-old daughters, Beckham and Courtlyn.
“We have all kinds of rules,” Wells said.
The girls can’t have their phones in their bedrooms, when they are
in the car with their mom, or at the table. And no phones in the morning
until they are ready for school, all their chores are done, and all the
dishes are put away.
“Eventually, we give in and they can get on their phones, but they
have to earn it,” Wells said.
Wells and her husband have an app on their phones called OurPact that allows
them to control their daughters’ devices remotely. They use it to
shut off all apps at 8:30 p.m.
Common Sense Media publishes a guide to parental control apps and numerous
tech and consumer websites offer reviews of such apps.
Most medical and mental health professionals suggest that if you want to
foster a healthy relationship between your children and their screens,
you should regularly plan activities for them that don’t involve
screens. It might be as simple as talking or reading to them, but sporting
events, trips to a park or museum, or regular family nights out are also
good alternatives.
Perhaps the best thing you can do is serve as a good role model by exhibiting
the same online behavior you expect of your children, said Dr. Elias Aboujaoude,
a Stanford University psychiatrist and author of the book “Virtually
You: The Dangerous Powers of the E-Personality.”
“If parents are breaking their own rules,” Aboujaoude said,
“kids cannot be expected to behave differently.”
And by behaving the way they want their kids to, parents might be helping
themselves, too. As Aboujaoude noted, adults have felt “deceptively
immune” to the ills associated with digital media. “They are
not.”
Chad Landgraf, 44, of Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, told me he was worried about
how detached his 12-year-old son and 5-year-old daughter became when they
were on their devices. So, hoping to set an example, he switched to old-fashioned
print from e-books.
“When I had my Kindle or iPad open, they didn’t know if I was
reading or surfing the ’net,” Landgraf said. “But at
least if I have a paper copy of a book, they know I am reading. Modeling
seems like the easiest way. Monkey see, monkey do.”
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